Today I am happy and content. I love the bright whiteness of the light off the snow. When I am truly in God's presence, that's the brightness of His light into my soul, shining on everything hidden to the world but that I know very well. I love God's kindness and forgiveness and patience.
I know certain things don't belong on blogs. I have made myself be quiet many a time when I wanted to vent to the world. To tell my side. Once again, I will generalize. I have very dark days. Days when my heart aches beyond description for the good and pure things I wanted for my home and my children. In the end, jumping ship was the only way to stay alive. I could not breathe. Literally. I was self-destructively sad. I cried every day for 10 tears. I was lost. I was in a place of thinking I was getting what I deserved (apparently) because decades of intense hope and longing and prayer did not change things.
In the light now, I still struggle with times of wondering ”why me." I especially struggle with "why my children." I struggle with what I deserve and don't deserve. But those thoughts are becoming less and less prominent. I am happy. I love God. I pray. I take only one day at a time. I love and appreciate every single day!!
That's all about that.
I wanted something baked yesterday, but I have become strictly gluten free again after starting to develop eczema again following a couple of months of ruthless cheating.
Cornbread muffins hit the spot!! With real butter. I ate three right away and one this morning. I know. I need to gain some control!!
In other news I wanted to show you some lovely fabric from the 1920s. One of my fellow shop-owners walked over to Sidetracked recently with this pillow in hand. Could I sew up the edge for her where the seam had been undone to wash the inside case? Of course! She wanted to pay me but I said absolutely not! She always lets me borrow her ladder. And she traded me a great rug for a children's print. Peeps, I love having my little store.
Isn't that fabric great?
Now for something off the scale on the adorable meter!! My mom (hennypennylane.blogspot.com) has a new baby goat! Look how tiny! She is currently trying to think of names.
Finally, I wanted to share just a portion of a page that came from a true 1900s scrap book. Oh my! Be still my heart. I have about six pages in all of 1900s ads that someone cut out and pasted into scrapbooks. This page is currently in my Etsy shop for download. It would be awesome for art projects. I am not telling you to go buy it, and I don't mind if people use the graphics I post on my blog. I love to share. I just knew that these scanned pages would be great for serious artists and scrapbookers.
With that, I say good day. The book of James has always helped me so much. I think I will read from there today. May you all have joy today!
Enjoy this day!