Today I am happy and content. I love the bright whiteness of the light off the snow. When I am truly in God's presence, that's the brightness of His light into my soul, shining on everything hidden to the world but that I know very well. I love God's kindness and forgiveness and patience.
I know certain things don't belong on blogs. I have made myself be quiet many a time when I wanted to vent to the world. To tell my side. Once again, I will generalize. I have very dark days. Days when my heart aches beyond description for the good and pure things I wanted for my home and my children. In the end, jumping ship was the only way to stay alive. I could not breathe. Literally. I was self-destructively sad. I cried every day for 10 tears. I was lost. I was in a place of thinking I was getting what I deserved (apparently) because decades of intense hope and longing and prayer did not change things.
In the light now, I still struggle with times of wondering ”why me." I especially struggle with "why my children." I struggle with what I deserve and don't deserve. But those thoughts are becoming less and less prominent. I am happy. I love God. I pray. I take only one day at a time. I love and appreciate every single day!!
That's all about that.
I wanted something baked yesterday, but I have become strictly gluten free again after starting to develop eczema again following a couple of months of ruthless cheating.
Cornbread muffins hit the spot!! With real butter. I ate three right away and one this morning. I know. I need to gain some control!!
In other news I wanted to show you some lovely fabric from the 1920s. One of my fellow shop-owners walked over to Sidetracked recently with this pillow in hand. Could I sew up the edge for her where the seam had been undone to wash the inside case? Of course! She wanted to pay me but I said absolutely not! She always lets me borrow her ladder. And she traded me a great rug for a children's print. Peeps, I love having my little store.
Isn't that fabric great?
Now for something off the scale on the adorable meter!! My mom (hennypennylane.blogspot.com) has a new baby goat! Look how tiny! She is currently trying to think of names.
Finally, I wanted to share just a portion of a page that came from a true 1900s scrap book. Oh my! Be still my heart. I have about six pages in all of 1900s ads that someone cut out and pasted into scrapbooks. This page is currently in my Etsy shop for download. It would be awesome for art projects. I am not telling you to go buy it, and I don't mind if people use the graphics I post on my blog. I love to share. I just knew that these scanned pages would be great for serious artists and scrapbookers.
With that, I say good day. The book of James has always helped me so much. I think I will read from there today. May you all have joy today!
Enjoy this day!
Lynn
Dear Lynn,
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post. I know you have been through some hard times and I have to say how much I've always admired how you handle things. Your sweet nature and positive outlook on life is so inspiring.
I know through my own struggles prayer and my faith have always been a great source of comfort.
The muffins look delicious, by the way. I know what you mean about craving something baked. I ate two lemon muffins yesterday and had one for breakfast this morning. Now I feel like a lump. HaHa.
So, that is a real goat your Mom has ~ I swear I had to go on her site to check it out. Never saw one so cute. Now I want a goat.
Hope your day is a happy one dear Lynn.
hugs}}
Laurie
Laurie,
DeleteThank you for the encouragement! Most days are wonderful days. I am trying to always reach for onward and upward! And yes, that little goat. Wouldn't you love to hold it and bottle feed it! Sigh
Love,
Lynn
Oh how cute! Such a little goat. I think I'd rather have a goat than my dog. Wishing for spring and summer here! Well, it is a challenge to live life when others around us affect us so much. I guess that is when I eat a cookie, and why I do...! But this is when heroism comes in. You are fighting the good fight with heroic virtue and keeping your eye on the finish line! My favorite verse in hard times is Psalm 23, The Lord Is My Shepherd. Andrea
ReplyDeleteAndrea,
DeleteThank you! I love that verse and Psalm as well. I need to really work harder every day to keep a song and verses in my heart.
Love,
Lynn
Lynn, I am living that life you described and know the pain.
ReplyDeleteHowever, 2016 is going to be my year, I am escaping !!
take care
Wean, I wish you very well!!
Deletexoxo
Lynn
I am supposed to be trying to lose a little weight but temptation, baked goods get in the way. The little goat of your Mums is so adorable. Stay well, look to the future and try and put the past behind you with help from God. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! I try to stay away from the "dark" topics but sometimes they surface. I am doing better and better.
Deletexo
Lynn
I have a weakness for goats - we have two 'grand goats' and they're part of the family! Stay strong, friend. Every day God gives us another chance to 'get it right' and prayer is a constant reassurance. Love your blog!
ReplyDeleteHi, Jan! Thanks so much for stopping by and joining. And thanks for the encouragement! Onward and upward!
Deletexo
Lynn
James is one of my favorite books. It is so down to earth and practical----sort of, "Let's see, how do we work all this out in the real world."
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely! I love the real-ness of it. There is a vulnerability there that I relate to.
Deletexo
Lynn